i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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