I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
