remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
