just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
