you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
