Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
