she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
