drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
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