im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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