Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
