Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
