Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
