im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
