The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
