She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
