I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
