i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I just googled if crying burns calories
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
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