god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
COCAINE IS GR8
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
