Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Shame is for Republicans.
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