FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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