oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
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