They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
