You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
