we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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