It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
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