You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
