I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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