Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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