Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
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