Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
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