vagina is talking i cant
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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