it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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