Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
