Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Randomize
