i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
