if only i could text you this smell
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
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