This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
