Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
You need Xanax blowdarts
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
