This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
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