We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
