I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
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