This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
