Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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