I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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