Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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