did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
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