Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
