just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Randomize
