i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
