oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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