It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
