Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Randomize
