I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
