Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
